Behind the Scenes: Josh and Julia
by royal-chandler
Summary: Josh remembers Julia more fondly than people would suspect.


Disclaimer: I don't All My Children, ABC does

Disclaimer: I don't All My Children, ABC does.

Note: So a couple of months ago when Greenlee and Frankie were in the hospital I started a story but I never got around to finishing it. Now one of the characters from the story is dead and the other is hardly ever on. So I've decided to take the character's death and revamp the whole thing. It changes perspectives and may be a bit confusing but hopefully it works. AU.

Behind the Scenes: Josh and Julia

It's been two months and Josh Madden feels like complete and utter shit. He can't remember when he hadn't felt that way since he had heard of Julia Keefer's passing. His grandfather had been the one to give him the news, offering sincere condolences. Josh hadn't been able to breathe, his stomach heavy and his heart non-existent. He didn't feel Joe's hand on his shoulder because he'd been numb. He had wanted to run to her room, the morgue or where she was because he was sorry—so damn sorry. Sorry for not being there for her. However he wasn't allowed to apologize because nobody had known. God, no one knew and no one could bring her back. The love he had lost would remain shadowed behind the scenes.

_Julia tapped her foot, impatiently waiting for the elevator to reach her floor. She had just changed out of her scrubs and was now headed to the lobby of the building. She was upset because Dr. Hubbard had asked her, no demanded her, to 'take a much needed break'. Julia had been working diligently on this case from the get go and she had no desire to take a break. She had refused politely at first but then Joe and even Jack had supported Dr. Hubbard's request. Right now, two patients were in a coma and she wasn't allowed to help out for the next twelve hours. The elevator made a noise, signaling its arrival and when the doors opened they revealed the one and only Josh Madden with a wrap of flowers in his hand. Daisies. They were her favorite but she doubted that he knew that. She stepped into the elevator and tried her best not to roll her eyes at his trademark smirk._

_Josh's eyes looked her up and own, bemused at the rose color in her tan cheeks, "What's got you riled up?"_

_She pressed the 'L' button the elevator's navigational panel before counting off three of her fingers. "Let's see, there's your grandfather, his protégé and your mother's ex-husband."_

"_Ah," Josh nodded, "What happened?"_

_Julia looked at him for the first time since entering the elevator. "I haven't slept in 23 hours and the doctors are sending me to bed. I respect their opinion but I hate not doing anything."_

_Josh frowned, "I admire your dedication, Julia but you have to follow the rules." He paused. "You can't always be naughty."_

_She sent a glare his way that could freeze hell, "I'm not in the mood."_

"_Sorry," he mumbled._

"_No, you're not." Julia argued, "You live to tease me and upset me. I'm already having a tough day and you can't go without making an inappropriate comment."_

_Guilt ridded him as the elevator suddenly made a jerk action and came to an abrupt halt. Julia lost her balance and came close to landing on the floor but Josh quickly dropped the flowers that were being held in his hand and caught the nurse in his arms._

_Julia gazed at him with wide brown eyes, "What the hell just happened here?"_

"_I think the elevator's stuck between floors." He responded, taking notice of the circles under her eyes. It looked as if the doctors had been right to kick her out of the I.C.U. "You alright?"_

"_I'm okay, thanks to you." Julia stated softly. "Josh, I'm sorry."_

"_No, you're right. I do always make some sort of stab at you and I saw you were upset. I should have just left it alone. I don't mean it in an ill way though."_

"_I know that," Julia told him half heartedly, "It's not you that I'm mad at. I'll deny this later on but actually like it. I just feel like that's the only attention I can get these days." She stumbled slightly in his arms._

"_You need some rest, Julia."_

"_I'd love to go home and see Kathy."_

"_How is she?" Josh asked genuinely interested and finding it a safe subject._

_Julia smiled thinking of her little girl, "She's doing great, getting bigger every day."_

"_That's good to hear. Although, I'm sure she doesn't want her mom overexerting herself."_

"_I hate it when you're right." Julia half-joked._

_Josh shrugged, "It happens all the time so you might as well get accept it and stop wasting so much energy trying to change it."_

"_Shut up." She told him but there was no detection of malice in her voice, "How are you going to get us of here, Oh Great White Knight?"_

"_Like this," Josh answered, going to press the red emergency button. When he did, it made a fizzling, crackling noise. "Is it supposed to do that?" He asked with a confused expression on his face._

_For the first time in nearly a day, Julia laughed, "No. I think you broke it."_

_Josh admired the way her eyes lit up and how her smile reached her eyes in turn. Her laugh was light and beautiful. He was sure this was the first time he'd ever heard it, since he would never forget such a melodic sound. "You're blaming it on me?"_

"_Technicians were here just last week working on the elevators." Julia stated matter-of-factly, enjoying the new look of surprise on his face._

"_Really?"_

"_No."_

"_Brat. Now who's doing the teasing?" Josh commented while taking a seat on the ground._

_Julia stared at him in curiosity, "What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to rescue the damsel in distress."_

_He looked up at her and shrugged, grasping the fallen daisies, "I saved your pretty butt from a bruise didn't I? Plus previous experiences tell me that we should just wait it out."_

_She wanted to resist the urge but instead she found herself sitting right next to him, "Previous experiences?"_

"_Well one," he corrected. "I once got stuck in an elevator with Greenlee."_

_Julia nodded towards the flowers, "Those for her?"_

"_Yeah." Josh confirmed sadly. "It's weird to think that it was only a few months ago that I hated her for what she did to Spike, Ian and Kendall but now I really feel for her."_

_Julia reached out a hand to cover his, compassion in her eyes. "She'll be okay."_

_About half an hour later, the pair was still stranded in the elevator but couldn't seem more unaffected by the situation. They now sat closer together, past arguments and awkward moments forgotten. Josh was laughing at a story Julia was telling him, "Wait, you found my mother and Jack in a closet together?"_

"_Yes!" Julia declared. "No offense to you but your mother can make people feel pretty low, it was absolutely humiliating. Right up there with dressing as a rat for Halloween when I was twelve."_

"_You were a rat for Halloween?" Josh laughed, picturing a younger Julia in a rat costume. "Why?"_

"_I wanted to be Cinderella but they'd sold out of Cinderella costumes. I told my mom I wouldn't go to trick or treating unless I was a character from Cinderella that I would even settle to be an ugly stepsister. That same night, she brought home a costume for Gus, the chubby rat." Julia reminisced fondly. "I was so mortified."_

"_That's cute," Josh replied. "Do you still have it? Because you could wear it for Halloween this year, I'm sure the kids here would love it."_

_Julia smiled at him, "Only if you dress up as John Travolta, Mr. Saturday Night Fever. And that's not even a Halloween story."_

"_Hey! You promised you wouldn't bring that up again." Josh feigned hurt but could only laugh when she tried to look innocent. "This is nice."_

_Julia yawned silently before agreeing. "It is nice and you come off less arrogant when you tell such humorous stories."_

_Josh drew her closer to him, "You're about to conk out, when we get out of here I'm going to write a long letter full of complaints."_

"_Why would you complain about us starting to become friends?" Julia asked softly, not intending to mean anything by it but Josh cupped her face with both of his hands looking at her fondly. "What you're going to kiss me now?" _

"_Would that be a problem for you?" Josh asked unable to tear his light green eyes away from her brown orbs._

_Julia shook her head in response and gave an inward sigh when his lips finally met hers. She loosely wrapped her arms around his neck and his weight gently set her on her back. She gasped in surprised when her back met the cold carpeted floor and he took advantage of her parted lips, begging for entrance. With her permission his tongue explored her warm mouth. For the next moments, they were in heaven until Julia's shy hand met his abdominal muscles under his unbuttoned shirt._

_Breathing erratically, Josh placed his hand over the one she had placed on his skin, "We should stop."_

_She couldn't hide the hurt in her voice. "If that's what you want."_

_Josh brushed his lips against her newly swollen ones momentarily before finishing his argument. "Julia, you're beautiful and incredibly sexy but I don't want to have sex with you in an elevator." He quickly silenced her with another kiss before she could protest. "I'd like to take things slow and I know you wouldn't really expect that from me but I'm trying to learn from my past mistakes. If or when we become intimate I'd like it to be in an actual bedroom. You deserve a lot more than a quickie in an elevator."_

_Tears formed in her eyes at his honesty, "Josh…I'm so tired."_

"_I know, sweetheart."_

_Carefully, he pulled her up against him and let her rest her back on his chest. He inhaled the scent of her shampoo as her head came to his shoulder and silently applauded his ability to resist her because he knew he wouldn't have been able to last much longer. "Whenever you need to talk, Julia…" He trailed off knowing she would understand._

"_I don't have to come via elevator." Julia finished in a small voice._

"_Go to sleep." Josh told her gently. He wrapped his arms around her and laced his fingers with hers._

"_But what if—"_

_Josh calmed her worries instantly, "When the sorry technicians get here, I'll explain everything and get you home to your daughter."_

_And Josh Madden kept his promise._

Josh had never really understood how fateful that day had been. If she had decided to go home when originally planned he would have never run into her, maybe he wouldn't have noticed her either. He'd gone on a whim to kiss her. He had wanted her to know that she wasn't just some face in the crowd because in that elevator she had been so beautiful. Glowing like a light in dark familiarity. Julia had always mystified him and never stopped to give him a run for his money. She challenged him, made him fight like hell to get close to her, as if his need to be with her was completely inconceivable. She had been the one to decide to keep their relationship quiet. He hated that—having to hide but she had definitely been worth it behind closed doors.

_As Josh's lips swept up from her collar bone to the nape of her neck, Julia felt a sense of déjà vu. With her eyes closed in ecstasy, she thought back to the time when she had found him a completer jerk, putting the moves on her while she had been in a peaceful slumber at the hospital. Julia had shrugged it off as though it had meant nothing but honestly she hadn't been able to get her mind off of the feel of Josh's lips that day. "You are so stimulating." Julia complimented as his mouth reached the corner of her own._

_His low chuckle tickled her skin, "Why thank you." Teasing her, he placed butterfly kisses around her mouth, never once meeting her soft petals._

"_Josh…"_

"_I have to give the same amount of attention to every inch of you."_

_Julia groaned, "That's not fair."_

"_You're so impatient." He murmured against her skin, knowing full well that it drove her insane. However, the truth of the matter was that Julia knew how to play this cat and mouse game also. She coyly reached her two cool hands to rest on his very lower back. He sucked in a breath as her nails lightly scraped the area just above his backside. Julia knew where his most sensitive spots were and never hesitated to remind him of that._

"_Give me what I want." Julia whispered seductively against his lips, while revealing her dark brown eyes._

_He had no choice but to do just so, wanting to satisfy both himself and her. His lips captured hers in a passionate kiss that took her and his breath away. Josh settled himself in between her legs and almost instinctively she wrapped them around her midsection. His heart tightened as they became one and he did what he always did when they joined together. His fingers laced with hers and he brought their connected hands to his lips, whispering words of love to her. Then he would look into her eyes and unveil the truth in his: he could never live without her._

_Every time Julia saw the intense emotion in his beautiful green pools, she felt heavy in her stomach because the notion was true for her also. The thought of him meaning so much to her scared Julia but she couldn't imagine him being anything less. "Me too."_

She saw him in ways that no one else seemed to. She took the time to peel away his shallow layers and find the man who only wanted love. It was sappy and tangled with childhood fairytales but that's what they were—that was how it was. Outsiders would make things difficult and would fail to understand. Fail to understand because they didn't really know who he was. They knew Josh the playboy, former stalker of Babe Carey and permanent sitter to his nephews. They didn't know Julia's Josh, the one who would text her messages in the morning, wishing her a wonderful day. Josh who would take out Nurse Keefer on her days off, take her to the outskirts of town and insist on sharing a cone. Julia would comfort the broken Josh some nights in his apartment, the one who had nightmares of a deceased father—persistent father who continued to haunt him and dwell on his every decision. However, like Julia, that Josh would fade away and no one would know the difference.

"_Julia!" Josh greeted a bit too happily when she entered the room._

_Worry shadowed her features as she quickly went over to him. Her dark eyes scanned him, "What the hell happened?"_

_He watched as she examined his injured left arm, "I fell."_

"_You fell." She sighed, looking at him doubtfully. "You fell where?"_

"_Out of my pants." He provided with a shrug, not embarrassed by the confession. "It's really not a big deal. I mean I drove here with a fractured arm, that—that is skill."_

_Julia's eyes became wide saucers. "You drove here? What the hell is wrong with you? Honestly?" Julia was furious with him for putting himself in so much danger. She wanted to grip him and have him comprehend that she hated it when he put himself in these situations. She hated seeing him in pain._

_Josh's face moved towards hers as he whispered, "Be quiet, Nurse Keefer, you don't want those outside of these room to assume that something is going on." He swiftly kissed her, pulling away before she had the chance to recuperate any affection. Although Josh doubted that in her mood she would. "I'm fine. Okay?"_

"_Don't do that." She whispered, her eyes softening. "Don't act like I don't have a right to care about you."_

_Josh looked at her questioningly, "Sweetheart, I never said that. I love that you care. I shouldn't have driven. It was stupid and I'm sorry."_

_She didn't respond and was quiet while she worked with the necessary equipment near him on the bed. She had him lie down so she could begin to put a short cast on his arm. She began to clean the injured area, "You shouldn't use nepotism in order to get me in here."_

_Josh let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, believing she wouldn't talk to him at all. "I just wanted to see you."_

"_So you fracture your arm?" Julia asked grabbing a roll of cotton. _

_Her fingers curled around his arm while she applied the cotton, her skin warming his. He winced and she lightened her grip, Josh cursed himself. "I didn't do it on purpose." He grinned, "Plus, it's twenty minutes we wouldn't have gotten otherwise. You're so stubborn. At one time it was endearing…" he trailed off knowing she would want to know more._

_Julia raised a brow, curiosity getting the better of her. "And now?"_

"_Incredibly sexy and not at all helping your efforts to keep me away." Josh informed her. She leaned over him. With his good arm, he brushed back hair that had fallen in her face. "How are you? I was trying to call you this morning but I never got in touch."_

_Josh watched as wheels spun in her head and realization came to her. "Oh, I didn't have a chance to get to my phone this morning. Kathy was so excited and I was trying to get her ready for the sitter."_

"_Yeah? What was she so excited about?" Josh asked. He personally loved it when Julia talked about her daughter. Her face lit up and Josh had never seen her so happy._

"_Today's Angie and Jesse's wedding and she has the most beautiful dress." Julia informed him before going to soak fiberglass cloth a few feet away._

"_That is today isn't it? I hope you two have fun."_

"_You're not going? Why?"_

_Josh gestured to his left arm as she headed back to him. "This and I—I wasn't really planning to go anyways."_

"_Because…" Julia drawled._

"_Because," he repeated, "unless I'm going with you and I'm by your side, I don't really want to be there."_

_Julia frowned at his words, suddenly overwhelmingly sullen. "You're with me now."_

"_It's just the two of us. I want to be able to hold your hand out there; I want to be able to get to know your daughter. Julia, I want you."_

_She bowed her head, "Josh, please."_

_He shook his head objectively, "Look at me. Right here, your eyes on mine." Brown fixed on green and she didn't look away. Once again there was that intensity that she couldn't deny herself, feelings he would never let her deny. "I love you more than you will ever know. Give me a chance to prove that to you."_

_She couldn't, she couldn't look into those eyes and not comply with everything he softly spoke. His words playing her heartstrings like a violin. "Tonight. Tonight after the wedding, maybe Kathy and I could stop by? I'm sure she'd love to sign your cast."_

_Later, Josh with his new cast in a sling had to argue with Julia in order to convince her to let him drive home. He also had to promise not to drive for the next two weeks. His hand was locked with hers as they approached her car. She told him, "You didn't have to walk me to my car but thank you."_

"_You're very welcome. Plus, Julia, my car's down here also so it's no trouble." Josh replied, squeezing her hand lightly. When they got to the vehicle, he wrapped his good arm around and rested his back against the car. _

"_And waiting fifteen minutes for me to finish my books?" Julia inquired, wrapping her own arms around his neck._

"_Well, watching you satisfies my _needs_." He smirked at her playfully, "If you catch my meaning."_

_Julia laughed, "God, you're awful, Josh."_

_He nodded in agreement, "Maybe but you love it."_

"_I love you."_

_Josh stood still. It wasn't the first time she had said it to him but every time—every single time, it got to him. The fact hat this amazing woman loved him and cared had his heart soaring. He lightly said, "I know." He paused. "I wouldn't be chasing you if you didn't."_

_Julia accepted the comment. She knew what he felt. "So cocky."_

_It had seemed impossible but his body became snugger against hers, comfortably a perfect fit. "You wouldn't have me any other way."_

"_Just take care of that arm." Julia stared at him with an earnest face, her eyes filled with so much expression, "Kathy and I will be at your place about eight."_

"_That's perfect. All I need is you there and I'm okay." Josh admitted. He pressed his lips to her, softly kissing her. He never wanted to let go. _


End file.
